This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
