Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
