Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
