He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
