bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
