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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
