Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
