Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ketchup is God's man juice
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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