Me. At least after what I've been through.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
