do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
