didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
