i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
