Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
