so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
