he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
