How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
