you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize