TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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