I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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