I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
