Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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