who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I can't trust your balls anymore.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize