she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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