He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
