i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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