the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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