Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
