so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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