i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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