When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
