I will die if light touches me.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
