you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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