dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
