so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
