FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
