Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
