so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
