Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
