i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize