i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
