He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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