let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
