you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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