i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
