You can't motorboat a personality
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
