need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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