By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
