U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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