You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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