So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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