and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
