Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
