Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
