dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
