chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
