Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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