Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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