First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
