He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
