I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Where is the hickey?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
