god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
