We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
